Crazy
by Red1990
Summary: Have you ever wondered if you've completely lost your mind' Lily/Miley -Updated Chapter 4 is now up-
1. Chapter 1

Title: Crazy

Pair: Lily/Miley

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: I own nothing! So don't even try to sue me.

This is my first time writing in a very long time, I decided to write a Lily/Miley story because I happened to wander upon a rather good one and decided to give it a shot. I haven't decided if I am going to just end it here or make into a two-part oneshot. It depends on the feedback.

Hope you enjoy!

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_'Have you ever wondered if you've completely lost your mind?'_

_'Not in a normal fashion where it just turns in on itself and the next thing you know you're sitting on a bench in the park; discussing the outcome of last weeks lunch choices with a pair of passing squirrels. No I mean truly lost your mind, where one day it just decides to pack up and leave without even giving a two-weeks notice.'_

_'And what it leaves behind in it's wake torments you day in and day out until you really start to consider a lobotomy as a reasonable option to end the consent torment.'_

_'I have, over the past five months it's only thing I think about because it's the only reason I can come up with for what is happening to me.'_

_'And I am really hoping I can find a way to make it stop...before I do something I know we '__**both**__' will regret.'_

Crazy

I could feel it again...

The warmth on the back of my neck, sending shivers down my spine and causing the hairs to stand on end; the brush of fingertips to soft for their own good over my skin, following a path they've burned into my flesh over these last five months from my neck to my lips. I squeeze my eyes shut tighter as the fingers linger on my lips making the inside of my mouth go dry as if it has not felt the coolness of water in years.

I know what she wants; it's what she has always wants.

The smell of strawberries awakens my senses and I incentively inhale the scent into my lungs, she leaning closer now which is why I can smell her shampoo. The same smell that I have loved for years; the same scent that makes me yearn to bury my face into her hair and just take it in completely every time she passes by me.

"Open your eyes."

She pleads into my ear with a voice so pure that my throat constricts at the sound of it, making it hard to breath. I beg my body to ignore the feeling of her warm breath ageist my ear; to keep my eyes shut. But I know it is a pointless battle, I could never deny her anything. My eyes open on their own accord her image blurry at first before coming into focus in all it's glory; my heart slams into my chest as it does every time I lay my eyes upon her beauty as if it is trying to leap free of my rib cage and freely give itself over to her.

She smiles and I am sure that I have stopped breathing; her face is so close now that I can almost taste her. Her fingers return to my cheek, her thumb stroking small circles over my skin causing goosebumps to break out all over my body; she's leaning closer now and I watch as her head tilts just slightly...

She knows what I want, it's what I always want.

Her lips are barely seconds away from mine now, I have lost all thought and all power over the situation; the name is building in my throat, screaming to be released past my lips and I am trying with all my might to restrain it but am losing this never ending battle. Her lips descend onto mine sending me into a whirlwind of pleasure but not before a name passes the barrier of my lips.

"Miley"

**BEEP!!**

My eyes snap open, only to be greeted by the image of the ceiling above me; the shadows tossed across it by the morning sunlight filtering in through the blinds seem to be laughing at me, as they jump back and forth across the painted surface. Lifting a hand up to my face, covering the image that lays before me, blocking out the whispered sounds of their laughter that always seem to be just at the edge of my hearing.

Every morning that I wake from this never ending dream they are waiting for me, waiting to taunt me from above and to laugh at me for my foolishness. No matter how much I try to block it out it remains just at the edge of my hearing, just loud enough for me to know its there, that god awful laughing.

My alarm clock brings me back down to reality, the constant noise breaking up my clouded thoughts and placing me back on level ground where I am able to gain control over the situation once again. I silence the alarm as I remove myself from the bed knowing full well that my mothers voice will be the next thing I hear if I don't get myself moving. Because having someone yell at you is just not the most enjoyable way to wake up in the morning.

I have been having these dreams for the past five months, every night the same things, the same feelings, the same touches and that same kiss at the end. But right at the kiss is when my alarm will always go off; it's like I'm on a treadmill running as hard as I can but never getting anywhere, seeing the same scene over and over again.

And saying the same name...

Miley...

No matter how many times I try to feel disgust at the idea of being so intimate with my best friend; my best 'girl' friend at that. All I end up feeling is need so strong that it sends everything I originally thought about the world into a tailspin; leaving more confused then when I started. After five months I have stopped thinking and just accepted it even though with each passing day the fear builds in my gut, fear of what is to come if I don't get these feelings under control.

'You dreamed of me again, didn't you?'

Her voice reaches my ears almost if carried by a passing breeze which is completely impossible in the closed off space that is my bathroom. I can barely stop myself from glancing around me in search for an open window, hoping that the voice came from outside. A part of me laughs at me for thinking that she may have finally left, returned to where she came from to never return to torment me again...but I should have known better.

I slowly lift my gaze up to the mirror and there she is, standing in her full glory; her body leaning against the door frame that connects into my bedroom, her lips shaped into the always present smile. Her posture oozes confidence and something I couldn't put my finger on for the longest time..sexuality.

'When are you just going to accept it Lily...' she draws out her words in a tongue in cheek manner, her eyes alight with her own amusement _'Accept it Lily you want to fu..'_

"Stop!"

She does but all the while her lips shift into that smile again and I know that she knows that I have took the bait, I have allowed her to make me acknowledge her. She arrived the morning after I had the first dream; a splitting image of the girl my heart secretly pines for, from her hair all the way down to her toes. She is Miley in every way possible except one; she is just a figment of my own sick imagination.

I have noticed with each passing month she changes, grows more forward..more blunt in her advances. She uses words that the real Miley would never even dream of saying, she fills my head with images that make my body throb with a mixture of pleasure and guilt; she is a constant voice in my ear. I should have known as soon as I saw her, as soon as I started to just accept her presence that I was falling faster and faster down into my own mind.

I should have known she was going to break me...

I just didn't know it was going to happen so soon.

"Why won't you just go away!?" my voice sounded weak even to my own ears.

'Why don't you just accept it?'

The same answer, every time I asked that question I always got the same answer; she was looking at me with an almost pitying expression which was more then I could handle at this moment in time. Everything she said to me or even just the way she looked affected me ten times worse because the words and those emotions came from Miley...even though it really wasn't her.

I pushed myself away from the mirror, moving quickly into my bedroom, setting my mind to the task of preparing myself for school. But even as I settled into this routine I could still hear her, she was humming; humming a tune so sickeningly sweet, I just wanted to strangle her. It angered me that I could not control my own imagination; that I could not just close my eyes and make her go away. It was almost as if my own mind was working against me.

My clothes felt cool against my heated skin as I slipped into my shoes and grabbed my backpack, slinging it over my shoulder. I knew that time was ticking down and that if I did not hurry I would be late, but I could not bring myself to move almost as if my feet were rooted into the carpet. I could hear my own breathing in my ears, the beat of my heart ageist my chest...

"Lily! You're Going To Be Late!"

My mother's voice snapped me out of my haze, quickly moving forward and exited my room, grabbing my skateboard on the way out, making my way down the stairs, knowing that I was heading to the place where my self-control would be tested the most..

The place where the real Miley was waiting.


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you everyone who reviewed my story with such nice comments because of you guys I decided to write a second part to this and will most likely add a third chapter to it, if everyone still finds it as enjoyable.

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**_Bang..._**

**_Bang..._**

**_Bang..._**

I have found out over the course of five months that dropping your head repeatedly onto a desk is not the best way to remove yourself from a troublesome situation; but it works really well. With each collision of the desk to my forehead brought about a brief flare of pain not enough to become uncomfortable but just enough to keep my mind focused on anything but what was currently going on around me.

Of course it couldn't block out my own thoughts...

That stupid 'tsking' noise reached my ears long before her voice did; I hated the way she acted like she was better then me. How can your own mind be better then you and if your mind thought that; did that mean you subconsciously thought the same thing?

All I knew was that thinking like that gave me more of an headache then banging my head into the desk.

'Aren't you even worried that you may be harming me by doing that?' Her voice took on a depressed tone which brought a lump of guilt to my thoart. She shouldn't be allowed to use 'her' voice. It wasn't fair to bring about the feelings that I would get if the really Miley had ever said those words to me. 

I swallowed back the guilt in my thoart, replacing it quickly with anger and dropped my head back down onto the desk with a resounding 'Bang' before turning my head just enough to be able to glare at her while she sat preached upon the desk next to me. She didn't even give the pleasure of a hurt expression just flashed that god-awful smile.

'Someone is in a touchy mood this morning' 

I wonder if it is possible to pummel your own imagination; the image of my fist connecting with her face just brought about a painful tightening in my stomach for her face belonged to Miley and the thought of bringing pain to her just sent me further into myself.

'I can hear her coming!' Her voice was excited as it broke through my depressed haze and I just knew if I looked twords her right at that moment she would be looking in the direction of the door. 

I knew she was right though, if I tuned out all the rest of the sounds and just focused on the noises floating in from the hallway, I could hear her laugh; the sound sent shivers down my spine. Such a pure sound, it shouldn't be possible for something so simple as a laugh to make someone feel as though their insides where tying themselves into a bow to make themselves presentable to her.

I had been able to avoid her all morning which had led to more then one uncomfortable situation, one being where I had been collecting my books out of my locker when all of sudden I heard her and knew that I mere seconds to escape before she was upon me and I would be stuck. So I did the only thing I could, I dove into the closest area which happened to be the boys bathroom.

If being in the bathroom wasn't bad enough I had to pick the one time of the day when the bathroom seemed to be crowded. I just knew that this story was going to be thrown way out of apportion by the time lunch arrived; knowing my luck It would be decided that I had secretly been a boy all my life and had been hiding it under the facade of a tomboyish girl.

I shouldn't be acting like this, if I kept this up Miley would start to notice that something was up and that would just cause more trouble. I couldn't expect her to just not notice that she no longer saw me in the morning or in the afternoon or that I never called anymore and that I always seemed to come up with an excuse not to go with her anywhere.

But being around her was so hard, I felt sick to my stomach and I couldn't stop my heart from slamming into my chest so hard it hurt. Not to mention the images that 'fake' Miley whispered into my ears, causing me to look at Miley in a whole knew light.

"Lily!" a voice broke through my troubled thoughts, a voice I knew very well "Earth to Lily!" all of the sudden the warmth of an hand on my back registered in my mind and all other thoughts came screeching to a halt. I snapped my head up quicker then I should have, coming face to face with Miley. My heart slammed into my chest so hard at the sight of her so close that I had to clench my fist to keep myself from reaching up and grabbing hold of my chest in pain.

"Uh..." Was that the only thing my mind could come up with!? Did that sound as lame as it did me?

She smiled and I just knew I was stepping closer and closer to the edge, close enough that the tips of my toes were hanging over the edge.

"Where were you this morning?" she cocked her head to the side in a way that I found so adorable, "I missed you."

I was falling now, how could such a simple statement of 'I miss you' make me feel like I was melting. It wasn't fair that she could do this to me, I was supposed to be strong; be a girl that nothing so simple as a bunch of emotions could effect. But as I sat there staring up into those beautiful eyes I realized something; I was strong when it came to everything but her.

'Kiss her' the whispered words tickled my ear, _'You know you want to.'_

My eyes betrayed me as they glanced down at her lips, they looked so soft...so kissable. She was right I did want to kiss her; I wanted to reach up and cup her face between my hands and kiss her until she filled me completely. The sound of a thoart clearing brought my attention back up to her face where I noticed that instead of smiling she was looking at me with a confused expression that made me feel like a brick had just dropped into my stomach.

"Are you alright Lilly?" her voice brought heated up my cheeks and I just knew I was blushing, "You've been acting strangely these past few months." Where was a big hole when I needed one, so I could just crawl inside it and hide.

"Uh..." Damnit! Was that the only thing that I could say around her? Before I could talk with her, it may have not been full sentences but at least I could talk; but now is this all I am going to be able say? Am I slowly losing all of my functions around her, first I couldn't think then I couldn't hardly breathe now I can't talk! What's next!?

This was not good, I was losing control of the situation faster then I thought possible.

'Wow...that was smooth'

The sarcastic words ignited a fire deep within my stomach, how could my own mind be making fun of me at a moment like this; a moment where I already felt like I was going to die underneath that questioning gaze. And before I could stop myself; I snapped. "SHUT UP!!"

I wonder if it was possible to hate myself any more then I did right at that moment.

The flash of pain that filled her eyes made me feel like my heart was being ripped out of my chest and what made it even worse was I caused that look because I couldn't control myself or my own thoughts. She opened her mouth as if she was going to say but then decided ageist it and closed it once again. I knew I had only moments to make it right but I all I could was stare at her like a lost puppy. My thoart and constricted so much I wasn't even sure I could make myself talk even if I wanted to.

The moment of me being able to pass it off as a joke or as a mistake passed and before I knew it she had turned and was making her way out of the room while I sat there looking at where she had just been with a deer in the headlight look. How could I have let this happen..why couldn't I just control my mind; how could I let it make me lose my control like that!

'What are you stupid?!' a hiss into my ear, _'Go after her!'_

You would have thought I would have been angry at her for even talking to me at this moment but in truth all my angry had left as soon as those words had left me, her words echoed into my head over and over again before I even realized that I was making a huge mistake, I could not let the girl I loved leave like that without me explaining and most of all I could not let my friend leave like that.

I was out of my seat in a flash, leaving the room behind without a second thought just being able to catch the sight of her as she rounded a corner. Thanking what ever gods existed that she wasn't running or I would have never been able to find her.

I raced down the hallway and turned the corner just as the name left my mouth, "Miley!"

She paused just long enough at the sound of her name, giving me just the right amount of time to close the distance between us, I moved without thinking; running completely on my emotions. My arms closed around her from behind and I pulled her back into my chest, the warmth that spread through my body was almost more then I could bare but I would not let her go I needed her to understand how sorry I was and that I had never meant to hurt her.

"I'm so sorry.." the words croaked out past the lump in my thoart, leaving me breathless.

The moments seemed to pass by which such a slowness it would have given a snail a run for it's money before she even acted as though she had heard what I had said. A pressure against my chest and I realized that she was leaning back into me, the relief that spread through me almost knocked me completely off my feet. I had to restrain myself from my face into her hair and just inhaling her into me.

It didn't matter to me that we were currently standing in the middle of the hallway and that anyone could get the wrong idea. Not that it mattered because by lunch it would just be said that Miley was hugging a boy disguised as a girl.

"Lilly?" her voice tugged me gently from my thoughts."When are you going to tell me what is bothering you?"

The question caught me completely off guard, she wasn't demanding that I tell her what had caused such an outburst or even what was the matter she just wanted to know when I was going to tell her. She was standing there and telling me in her own way that she would wait until I was ready to tell her.

When I didn't think it possible my heart swelled and I found myself loving this girl even more.

"Soon" I answered with so much certainty that I knew that I was going to tell her everything, about every dream, every feeling, every touch, every kiss and I was going to tell her soon. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Notes**

I got some very good reviews on the second part and like I promised here is the third chapter in all it's glory. In this part I decided to try and show the confusing relationship between Lily and her own mind, but don't worry I will try and make the next chapter full of fluff.

I would also like to thank Anti-Gravity111 for my longest review yet! I feel so special she used proper caps and punctuation just for me! )

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_"Lilly?" her voice tugged me gently from my thoughts."When are you going to tell me what is bothering you?"_

_The question caught me completely off guard, she wasn't demanding that I tell her what had caused such an outburst or even what was the matter she just wanted to know when I was going to tell her. She was standing there and telling me in her own way that she would wait until I was ready to tell her._

_When I didn't think it possible my heart swelled and I found myself loving this girl even more._

_"Soon" I answered with so much certainty that I knew that I was going to tell her everything, about every dream, every feeling, every touch, every kiss and I was going to tell her soon. _

_Soon..._

_Soon..._

_Soon..._

What the hell was I thinking!?

Oh I remember now; I wasn't thinking, I don't even think my brain was functioning at that moment I was to focused on the feeling of that sensual body of hers pressed so nicely against mine to even realize what I was saying.

How am I going to tell her, when I can't even breathe around her!?

Burying my face deeper into my pillow, hoping with every ounce of my soul that it would just swallow me whole and let me escape from the situation I had put myself into. How was I going to tell her my feelings when I didn't truly have a full grasp on them myself yet. I knew that I loved her, I knew that I wanted her and I knew that I needed her but what I didn't know was if I could handle if she reached into my chest and crushed my heart.

Was I ready to chance our friendship just to get a taste of her...

_'You know you are."_ her voice reached my ears, coated in a very amused tone, _'You would jump off a bridge just to be able to get a taste of her.'_

I hated when she was right.

As each day passed I was starting to connect fake Miley with my inner most desires and thoughts, it's the only reason I could come up with for why she knew exactly what I was thinking and feeling as I was thinking and feeling them. Either that or I had it flashing above my head in bright neon lights.

I kind of hoped it was the later of the two because thinking about her being able to read my thoughts just made my head hurt...as did most things concerning her.

Turning my head to rest on it's side, my cheek pressed into the pillow, the fabric still warm from my breath. From this position I was able to look upon the image of fake Miley who was currently lounging on the bed next to me...if it was possible for an imaginary being to lounge. Having already accepted that she was just a figment of my imagination it amazed me at how real she looked, I felt as though I could just reach out and touch her, feel the warmth of skin against my fingers but I knew if I did all I would feel is the coolness of my comforter.

Even knowing this I still couldn't help but believe that she was real in some far off part of my brain.

I really should start considering therapy.

_'Poor Lily...can't seem to think up a way to confess her love' _the words passed through her lips in such a sarcastic voice that I just wanted to place the pillow over her face and hold it there until she stopped twitching...

Yup...therapy would be a good idea.

Every time she talks to me I find it harder and harder not to respond to her, not to answer her or even look at her. Before I had been able to ignore her and her comments but with each passing month I found it harder to do, I found myself responding to her more; acknowledging her presence. And by doing this she grew bolder she talked more, stepped into my line of vison more; just plain distracting me from what was going on around me.

Like she was doing now and I allowing myself to be pulled into her web.

"You think you have a better idea!?" The words were forced out through clenched teeth, as I tried to burn holes through her with my glare.

_"I never said that.'_ was her off-handed reply as she glanced down at her nails seeming to be checking them for imperfections, which only seemed to enrage me more. I was starting to realize that I spent almost all my time angry with myself.

"But that is what you implied!" I snapped out in a huff, I could get angry at her, yell at her, scream and bitch until my thoart bleed and she never seemed to be affected by it, even now she just continued to look at her nails.

_'I implied no such thing, but if you wish to hear my opinion I would be glad to give it too you.' _I knew by this time I had to be staring at her like she was crazy, which was kind of ironic because I was the one that was crazy; but that's not the point. The point was what in the hell happened to the overly sexual side of her when did she turn into a seemingly depressed teenager.

Can figments of imagination be depressed?

As I pondered over the possible emotions that a figment of imagination can achieve I failed the notice her trademark grin had returned to her lips, her body language completely changing in less then a second from depressed to sensual overload.

But I of course failed to notice this until it was to late.

_'So you missed my sensual side, did you?'_ her voice was husky and the words seemed to roll off her tongue, my insides seemed to be set on fire at the sound of it causing my blood to began rushing to other places.

Oh god..

She had never sounded like that before, the image of the real Miley appeared in my mind, her body pressed so tightly against mine, her warmth sending shivers through my body. The smell of her hair overloading my senses.

_'You wish she would talk to you like this, don't you?'_ her words snapped me out of my hormonal haze, my gaze being focused on her once again only to be meet with her amused expression. As I pushed my body up into a sitting position trying to get away from her laughing eyes, my legs crossing under me, she appeared in front of me, her body leaning back against my dresser.

"You're a bitch, I hope you know that." I hissed out at her in a very childish manner that even ashamed me after I heard myself say it. Why was I sinking down to her level...which was kind of my level if you thought about it. But that is again not the point.

_'Takes one to know one.' _she replied back in the same childish manner that made me realize even more that it was pointless to argue with yourself.

"So what's your opinion?" the words escaped past my lips before I could stop them, it shocked me that I wanted to know what she thought I should do. Why should I care what she has to say because in truth, isen't she just going to tell me what I already know.

_'Call her.'_ Was her simple response, why hadn't I thought of that. I could just call her and tell her over the phone, so It would take away the problem of not being able to breathe because I wouldn't be in front of her.

That just might work.

_'You're not telling her over the phone, you idiot.'_ she was laughing at me again, I could see it in her eyes.

"It was you're idea!' I barked out, my expression showing my confusion over the situation, just a second ago I thought I had found the solution I was looking for and now I felt like it had just been ripped away from me.

_'I meant call her and ask her out somewhere you, you dimwit.' _What was with the name calling, if it wasn't bad enough that she was laughing at me, now she had to start making crack shots at my ego as well; I was really starting to hate myself.

Ask her out...

I don't know if I could do that, even if I just passed it off as just a friends outing, being so close to her for such a long period of time without being able to escape for fear of causing even more suspicion might just kill me ore make me do something I would regret. Like just pressing her back against the closest wall and kissing her senseless.

_'Your such a chicken.' _Her voice was annoyed as she looked over at me. _'You couldn't do it even if you wanted to.'_

How dare she say that, she did not know what I could and could not do!

And I was sure as hell not a chicken!

"I'll show you a chicken.." I grunted under my breath my cell phone appearing in my hand even before I realized that I had grabbed it, my fingers quickly moving on their own accord dialing the number I had memorized many years ago.

The ringing filled my head as I pressed the phone to my ear...

One ring..

Two rings...

Thre..

"Lily!" Miley's voice filled my head clearing out all other thoughts and brought a smile to my lips, "I was hoping you would call." the words made my stomach due a little flip flop.

She was hoping I would call! It was really sad how easily this girl could send me running and jumping off the emotional cliff.

"Um..." Well at least it was better then 'Uh..'

I was stuck, I didn't know what to say, I didn't even remember why I was on the phone to begin with, I looked helplessly over at my own figment of imagination looking for support but once again only found an amused expression. I don't even know why I looked at her, it was like looking at your arm for help after it has been blown off.

_'Chicken..'_ she mouthed the words so slowly that there was no way that I could misunderstand what she was saying, all the while her eyes were alight with amusement.

"Lily..?" Miley's voice brought my attention back to the phone but now with a new resolve. How dare she still call me a chicken, couldn't she see that I was on the phone with Miley!? Didn't that prove that I was not a chicken?!

I'll show her!

"Miley, would you like to go see a movie or maybe go get something to eat tomorrow!" I hadn't meant to scream it..or say it so quickly but I couldn't help it, I needed to get it out before I really did chicken out.

There was a long pause on the other line and I was sure with each passing second that a part of me was dying not to mention the fact that my stomach was knotting so tightly it hurt. If she turned me down, I don't know what I would do...die most likely.

"I would love too." I could almost hear the smile on the other side of the line which caused my body to vibrate with pleasure, my heart singing my love for this girl with each beat, "Pick me up at six?"

I was pretty sure that my smile was currently splitting my face, I couldn't believe she had say yes...though she just thought it was a friends outing; I didn't care because she still had said yes.

"Okay!" I answered trying to conceal my excitement without much luck, "I'll see you then."

Even minutes after the call had ended I still sat there staring down at my cell phone, my cheeks hurting from my never ending smile. I can't believe I had just asked her out, she may not have known it but it was still a big step for me. I never would have even thought I could have gotten the courage up to ask her.

If it wasn't for fake Miley calling me a chicken I would have never...

Wait..

Lifting my gaze up away from my cell phone, I trunned my gaze over to her for the first time since the call ended and was meet by one very smug expression.

"Oh...I see what you did there." I couldn't help but smile, she had tricked me; I had been tricked by my own mind. Go figure. I should have known she was baiting me by calling me a chicken and getting me all worked up, she knew I hated being called a chicken.

"Very clever."

_'I try.'_


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Notes**

Sorry it took me so long to get this chapter up, for the longest time I didn't know where to go next but after some thought I decided it was time to make something happen.

Hope you enjoy.

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Vanilla...

I have never noticed how much I love the smell of vanilla, it's such a simple smell for the fact that it is all around you. You can smell it in restaurants, in grocery stores, in gas stations and in well...everything; it is also a common candle scent so you can smell it in houses, apartments and mansions all the same. I loved the way it tickled your senses and made you hungry for something more almost in the same way as when you catch a passing smell out of a restaurant that just turns you into a salivating fool.

She smelled like warm vanilla...

Allowing my gaze to return to her once again, focusing completely on her, the area's around her seeming to blurr out of focus. She was laughing and not just a normal laugh...no it was full blown belly laugh, the kind that came from deep inside and bring tears to your eyes; her food lay forgotten on the table in front of her. It was such a sensual sound, it sent shivers down along your spine at just the sound of it; like music to your ears. It always seemed to me that when she laughed the sound she used when she sang could be heard, mixed with the laugh making it sound so pure.

I don't even remember what I said to make her laugh...

My heart hurt as I watched her, how I longed to be able to reach across the table and take her hand in mine and join in on this infectious laughing but I was stuck in between a rock and a hard place; forever afraid that I will ruin our friendship if I express myself. She doesn't notice that I am not laughing with her, her attention is completely focused on how what I said amused her so much. As soon as she started laughing it felt like she had took all of the air out of my lungs, the world around me seemed to become muffled and all I could hear was her laughing.

We had been sitting in the food court of the local mall, enjoying our own separate choices on what we had wanted to eat for lunch. The conversation had been like old times before I had stopped being able to talk to her, I could breathe in front of her; we had been able to laugh and joke like old times. It was almost like what I was feeling was forgotten for at least a little bit, it was like she had covered me in a comfortable haze that I could be myself in without being afraid of crossing an unwritten line; a haze that smelled oddly like warm vanilla.

Everything had been okay until she laughed, that simple sound shattered the haze that had settled around us and every emotion came slamming back, my smile slid from my lips as the ever presence pain in my heart returned; my food lay forgotten as well but mine for different reasons. I should have listened to myself when I knew this would be too much for me to handle and we hadn't even made it to the movie yet.

I wanted to kiss those smiling lips...

"Lily...?" her worried voice reached my ears bringing back with it the sounds from the food court. I allowed my gaze to focus on her face again, pushing my thoughts away from the time being, trying to ignore the pounding in my heart as I looked at her worried face, she knew something had changed. "Are you alright?" her voice was so soft, it seemed to float on the air before it blessed your ears with the sound of it; my heart swelled.

"I'm fine, Miley." I replied trying to keep my voice from shaking, swallowing hard while I tried to plaster a reassuring smile one my lips but knew I was failing miserably at it. "My food just doesn't seem to be sitting well on my stomach..." it wasn't that much of a lie, my stomach was churning but it wasn't because of the food.

_'Why do you do this to yourself?'_ fake Miley's voice sounded pained which was odd but it seemed for the first time my emotions were effecting her. _'You sit there and act like nothing is wrong when it is killing you inside...it's killing me'_ that was such an odd thing for her to say but she was right, I was starting to understand that she was always right. I pushed her away from my mind and let my emotion over take me tunning out her voice.

A sudden warmth on my hand set my arm on fire, goosebumps appearing on my skin as I snapped free of my thoughts and returned my attention to the real Miley, who's hand was currently resting over mine; my eyes focused on her hand and mine and realized in a off handed manner how good they looked together, her hand was softer then mine; smooth. Allowing my eyes to lift back up, I found her looking at me with such a saddened expression that almost broke my heart right then and there, "Miley..I.." I croaked the words out unsure if she even heard them above the suffocating noise of the food court. I wanted to tell her everything, I wanted to scream it too the world but they were stuck in my throat and refused to come out, leaving me down struck that I just felt like crying,

She smiled...such a beautiful smile...

Her hand tightened around mine and I watched as she stood up from her seat and gently pulled at my hand, I stood from my seat without a second thought. "Lily" she said my name with such sweetness that I had to suck in my air through my nose for fear of suffocating, "Let's go see a movie." she finished a few moments later and took off in the direction of the movie theater that was built into the mall; never once letting go of my hand leaving me no choice but to follow her.

The next few minutes passed by in a blurr, I don't remember buying the tickets to the movie or even what movie we were seeing, all I could focus on was the fact that she had yet to let go of mine. I must have been a sight to see stumbling behind Miley not even watching where I was going because I was so focused on our interlocked hands. The sudden darkness of the room brought my attention up to find that we had already made our way into the theater a quick glance around and I noticed that no one else was in the movie theater.; this information sent my heart beating anew.

Following her lead we picked seats in the middle of theater, just close enough for the screen to take up your whole vison but far enough back so that you wouldn't have to glance from one side of the screen to the other to get the full effect of the movie. She sat down with such grace that it put my slumping into the theater chair to shame, it amazed me how she could do everything with such grace. We sat there for a few minutes in complete silence which caused me again to notice that she had yet to let go of my hand, I wasn't complaining but I just didn't know how much longer I could take such contact.

"Lily.." her voice held something in it that I just couldn't decipherer.

"W-What..?" Great I was stuttering now, I was just going down hill fast.

She seemed to pause for a few long moments before she answered which caused me to look in her direction, the smile that I encountered set my whole body on fire, "You don't have to be afraid, whatever it is I will always be here for you." Why did she have to say that, my head was spinning, my jaw clenching to tightly that it was making my teeth hurt. How did she always know what to say to shatter whatever control I had left on the situation, I was acting even before my brain registered what was about to happen.

My fingers reached her, wrapping gently around the back of her neck and pulling her forward to meet me halfway as my body leaned over , my lips covering hers even before the full impact of what I was doing hit me, but it was far to late for me to stop. My whole body exploded as I finally found what I had been craving for so long; her lips were so soft and felt perfect against mine; almost as if they had always been meant to be against mine. I kissed her without a second thought, I kissed her as if it would be my last kiss, I kissed her and put everything ounce of my emotions into it as if this was the only way I could tell her, I kissed her and tasted her until I was afraid that my lungs would explode if I did not breathe.

Then I ran and left her behind just as the previews started to roll.

She tasted like vanilla...

I ran and ran not even caring where I was running too, I ran until my lungs felt like where going to explode and then I still kept on running, I was trying to run away from it all to make it all go away. But I knew deep down inside that I couldn't take it back, I had kissed her it shouldn't have surprised me I had wanted to kiss her since these feelings had started, wanted to taste her, feel her and now that I did I found myself longing to do it again and to never stop. I had always thought that if I could just get one kiss I would be okay but now that I had got that one kiss I knew that I would never be okay until I could kiss those lips everyday; which would never happen.

Slowly coming to a stop my body no longer being able to go anymore, I sucked in lung fulls of air until I could once again breathe without a burning in my lungs. I had got farther then I thought I would as I took a glance around me, I was at least a mile away from the mall now but still felt I was to close for comfort but I just couldn't go on anymore and sat down the curb, resting my elbows on my knees and pressing my face into my palms. I was shaking, I could feel it but knew that there was no way I could stop it right now, my body was still humming from the kiss.

'Why did you run?' fake Miley's voice interrupted my fall into mass depression. 

"She tasted like vanilla.." I stated completely ignoring her question, for some reason that was a piece of information that just would not leave my mind, she smelled like vanilla and now I knew that she tasted like vanilla as well.

'Why did you run away?' She asked me again and I knew that she would keep asking until I told her, but what was I supposed to say... 

"Because I was in the mood for a jog, I always feel like a good long jog after I completely ruin the most wonderful thing in my life." I hissed out, knowing that my voice was coated in sarcasm because I could almost taste it in my mouth.

'How did you know you ruin it if you don't stick around to see what happens!' Her anger shocked me and caused me to turn in the direction of her voice, to be meet with the full force of her angry glaring down at me, I had never been able to make her angry before; what had changed. 

"What do you mean...?" I whispered my voice seeming to failing me once again.

'How do you know she would have tunned you down?' her voice held a truth to it, a truth that I had been denying since it had first popped up in my head; could she feel that same? 

"She would have said..-"

'You don't know what she would have said because you ran away before she could say it!' she cut me off before I could finish my sentence, her words stung. Fake Miley was looking at me with such disappoint and I realized that the real Miley just might have this expression on her face as well. 

I was a chicken.

The sound of footsteps reached my ears before her voice did, "Lily..."

What was I going to do...


	5. Author's Note

Author's Note

I am sorry that I am taking so long to update but school has been driving me craz, but I promise I will update again soon.


	6. Author's Note 2

I'm back! I will be able to have the next chapter up in the next week or so now that all my school work is cleared up. I am so sorry it is taking so long, besides school taking so long I broke a bone in my shoulder not to long ago and that was healing as well.


End file.
